God's logic is non-human
“And just what he can do at all in such conditions?”
“That’s up to him. Let him work,” the answer came from behind the Wall.
“Do you realize that this is simply impossible?” I objected to my invisible interlocutor. “How he will have to implement all this?”
“However he can.”
“And where is the logic in all of that?!”
“Everyone has their own logic. It’s not for you to understand,” came the reply.
* * *
“On this bitter and mourning day, we all gathered together to honor the bright memory of the man whom we sincerely and fervently loved. The man whose life was cut so suddenly. The man who gave us hope that life does not end up with death. The man who has lived in this world for so little – brief twenty-seven years, each one from which was a year of desperate and daring struggle for life, year of devotion and heroism. The man whose young age seemed to hide behind many more years of experience and wisdom. And even if in these ever-lasting minutes he is not standing together with us, but the memory of him will live on forever in our hearts. We – those who knew him – will never be able to forget. We cannot forget his words, his forever young shining with optimism eyes, which gave us hope in the days of our sorrows. We can’t forget him and we won’t forget him. May he rest in peace, and may his journey to the world of eternal life be bright. Amen.”
* * *
“So, doctor, how’s our baby? Is everything ok?”
“I am afraid that I bear bad news for you.”
“What? What’s wrong with him? Please, don’t delay, tell us already, for God’s sake!”
“In the serum of the newborn, we discovered the AIDS virus.”
* * *
“And what are my prospects? Won’t surgery help?”
“No. It will only delay the disease for a year or two.”
“And then?”
“And then you’ll have to find a cane and a dog – if you still want to live by that time.”
“How much time do I have in my possession?”
“About five years or so.”
* * *
“Tell me, tell me, is my boy, my Pasha still alive?!”
“Out of fifteen members, both Pavel Volkov and Alexander Gromov did not return from reconnaissance operation. We have every reason to consider them killed in action. We share your grief.”
* * *
“Their father abandoned them when he was about two years old.”
“And what about the mother?”
“His mother died of tuberculosis three years after this. The boy died a week later.”
“Does his father know about all of this?”
“No, we decided not to inform him. He emigrated to another state almost immediately after the divorce and we were not engaged in searching for him.”
* * *
“Yes, they crashed into each other right in front of my very eyes! That car got right under the wheels of this truck. I barely even noticed how it started to whirl – I saw as it was kicked in the ribs, already without a roof. By that time, as I understand it, all the passengers were already dead. My God, that was so horrible!”
* * *
“And what about the others? How did they get settled, how're their lives?”
“Elena now works as an accountant in a bank. Natasha became a reporter. Zhenya is a journalist. You already know everything about boys.”
“And what about Maria? Maria Smirnova, remember? Always was such a cheerful, joyful person?”
“Oh, you don’t know, do you?”
“What? What should I know about?”
“She died in a car accident a year ago or so. I thought you knew.”
“She… died?”
“Yes… people die from life at times. I thought you were aware of this news. You loved her?”
“Loved…”
* * *
“Yes, perhaps, I do not yet fully understand this logic. Yes, I may be stupid, and blind, and all that, but why do you let the best members of our race die in peace – the ones helping your cause?! Why don’t you let them live, why do you let mostly parasites and killers to roam in this world? Why do they keep living when those who truly should have lived are now rotting in their own graves?! What kind of inhuman logic is that?!” I cried to my invisible interlocutor, standing behind the Wall.
The interlocutor sighed sadly.
“I think you won’t understand. This is the Experiment.”
“What kind of bloody experiment is that?! Where, to whom, for what? We don’t need your experiments upon us!”
“We will take best souls. We need only them. It’s a selection. You must come to peace with its forms.”
“We won’t! Do you hear me? Whoever you are, we will not accept it! Will not accept!” I shouted with last remnants of my power, trying to overcome the noise from the surging wind.
And then the wall of black crystal suddenly cracked, the sky lit up with fire and the brightest light coming from sky stroke my eyes, blinding. The last thing that I managed to see before this raging light deprived me of my sight, was a tall man dressed in dazzling-white clothes with his eyes glowing with the very same light, the one who had the voice of my recent interlocutor:
“Mortal! From now on, you will lead other people for thousands of years, helping them understand the beauty of our Experiment, but you will be unable to do it yourself. You will teach and inspire them – and behold how we gradually take them away from you. You will love them – and observe how their death takes this love away with it. You will be immortal the way you wanted to be, and you will curse that immortality. Perhaps then, after these few thousands of years, you will realize your mistake. You will understand that we are not subject to your logic… And only then the way to the truth will be opened before you. Now go and live, immortal Guardian Angel! Your new life has just begun…”