The following list, which we would like to present to the reader, entitled "Bloggers of our age", is an analysis and basic classification of a new, rapidly developing and simultaneously degrading, socially relevant, and sometimes completely useless form of activity known as "blogging."
As world-class sociologists who have been observing this trend for about a decade, we cannot help but note its significant, obvious, and visible growth, as well as its temporary social popularity, particularly among the younger generation. Our creative work is dedicated to studying and classifying these considered-to-be-intelligent individuals.
During our research of these test subjects, we divided these individuals based on their interests in various social spheres, knowledge areas, and overall levels of self-development and culture. The classification of these individuals is as follows.
1. Reviewer.
Perhaps one of the most sought-after and socially useful types of bloggers. As their name suggests, these individuals primarily focus on reviewing the objects of the surrounding world or their sometimes overly intrusive advertising. The degree of this imposition and the quality of the review depend, among other things, on the level of obscene advertising budgets that have fallen on them.
They usually start their blogging career by reviewing cheap Chinese consumer goods, and end it by advertising casinos and other overly entertaining establishments. They take great pleasure in unpacking the products sent to them (for free!) for advertising integrations on camera, savoring every step. They are well-versed in the product lines they review, their advantages and disadvantages, yet they are always ready to embellish the products sent to them for an additional monetary fee.
Despite the obvious bias in many of their reviews, they are still useful for gaining a general understanding of the subject, but due to their intellectual and time limitations, they are unable to achieve the same level of expertise and understanding of the things and phenomena they review as "X-experts". In fact, the most popular of them have long since become freelance employees of the advertising departments of too big to fall corporations.
2. Food blogger.
Alternative national name — "Eater".
"What does the day ahead cook for us?" — this question is asked by each of them. And some of their representatives really like to cook, having not yet fully developed inborn culinary abilities, but the majority, however, like to consume and run around cafes and restaurants at someone else's expense, engaged in photography of… food.
Yes, yes, you heard us right, these guys literally take pictures of what they eat (hence the informal name). And they love to eat oh so much. To become a food blogger — is, in fact, to publicly sign up for the mortal sin of gluttony. But they are not ashamed or feel themselves sinful.
Food, photographed from a variety of angles — this is their food on earth. They literally earn, stuffing their stomach and smacking their lips appetizingly on camera. Some of them have such a big appetite that they stop only after a couple of hundred shots.
Are you surprised by the very fact of existence and public demand for such a species of creatures? So do we! But an intellectually and culturally degraded society inevitably produces such notorious elements. It remains only to hope that the further natural and logical development of this type of blogging will not eventually lead to the emergence of "shit bloggers".
3. X-pert.
The dual name reflects the dual essence of these species: genuine knowledge and pseudo-expertise. It is not always easy to distinguish a true expert from a couch-potato at first, and sometimes even at second glance. The recent increase in the number of pseudo-experts in the media, who are willing to compromise the knowledge and experience of genuine experts for the sake of their own fame, is a cause for true concern.
The opinions of genuine and knowledgeable expert bloggers are characterized by a calm, rational, and balanced approach to the events and phenomena they discuss, while the opinions of couch-potato experts are superficial, based on unverified facts, and filled with emotional fluff and chatter for the better understanding of housewives and tired after a long day at work couch-dwellers.
We believe that the formation and steady growth of the number of bloggers who are genuine experts in their respective fields can fundamentally reverse the negative social and media trends of deceiving and brainwashing the country's population in the interests of the ruling majority of pseudo-political experts. On our part, we encourage our readers to avoid being deceived by the superficiality, media hype, and false grandeur of popular "X-experts" and to focus on their genuine expertise, wisdom, knowledge, and personal qualities instead.
4. Streamer.
This type of public influencers is engaged in broadcasting video content directly to the screens of your phones, monitors, as well as to your brains and souls. The streaming content can vary: from streaming gaming sessions to filming erotic bathes and licking microphones "just for fans". The main unspoken rule of every streamer is that the content must flow, no matter the cost! Their content is your time and your donations, their earnings and streaming advertising integrations from third and fourth parties.
In a sense, we can say that these individuals are constantly "in the flow" and are always ready to drag you into its turbulent emotional waters for at least several hours in a row. Viewers should always be involved "in the process" along with streamers, so funny comments, jokes, discussions of public events during streaming, as well as expressing the deepest gratitude to each donor, are almost a matter of course and natural for any experienced streamer. You can’t just stop talking on camera, puffing and sliding your mouse across the screen. The stream of all sorts must keep flowing, and the content must go non-stop!
Therefore, for people who value their free time, we can give you one simple piece of advice: watch their content selectively, prerecorded and according to your personal interests, and ideally in the accelerated double rewind mode. Or, at the very least, in the mode of a retelling of "the summary of previous episodes" by a neural network. This way, you will save your time and see fewer advertising integrations as a free bonus.
5. Beauty blogger.
Popularly known as "Makeup girls". Mostly female, although there are perverted exceptions. The leading area of their few interests is the sphere of beauty, makeup and marafet. Their body is their business. And they know it through and through. The phrase "beauty will save the world" is understood literally and they try to look as much as possible face-and-money-shattering.
They love to show off in front of the camera and demonstrate their numerous and glamorized female "charms" to their audience. Men, with the exception of the aforementioned perverted exceptions, are turned on by this, and women are easily motivated — after all, every woman wants to look beautiful and be desirable!
"Spa", "peeling", "liposuction", "lifting", "lashmaking", "mesotherapy", "cavitation" — the volume of specialized terminology in this area is simply off the charts! Even we, as world-class sociologists, do not keep up with these newfangled trends and words. How do beauty bloggers keep up — we have no idea. However, beauty blogging does not require you to have any ideas.
What is really required is silicone and an inner readiness or predisposition to become an escort. Every truly beautiful woman deserves to be accompanied by a truly prosperous (most of all, financially) man in life, isn't it? That's what they think. We, in turn, believe that an overly unhealthy concentration of public attention solely on external bodily attributes and beauty can, in the long run, cause significant harm to the cultural and spiritual development of the society we are describing, therefore we desire to warn our readers against excessive glamour and unnecessary silicone addiction. After all, as the popular blogger wisdom says, "Glamour is a tool for a fool".
6. Funnyboy.
Or, simply, "Laughing One". Bloggers-pranksters and public clowns who have a great sense of humor, as they sometimes think. Girls adore them and often give them… their contact information. According to unverified reports, true experts in this field can bring even an entire convent of old maidens out of deep depression.
They know at least a thousand and one "bearded" anecdote and a thousand and two stories from "Bashorg" and masterfully juggle them, coming up with new, never-happened-to-them funny stories from their own fantasized life, willingly sharing them with their subscribers. As they say, "humor to the masses!" Like the "Liars", they don't blush during excessive self-admiration and self-promotion.
They are always ready to make fun of their friends, neighbors, and anyone who seems too strange to them. In addition, they can make fun of and portray as a clown almost any politician on Earth (which, due to their political stupidity, is not that difficult), and sometimes they become politicians themselves after a successful career as a clown, continuing to combine socially funny with the socially useless.
In general, they are usually quite harmless and cheerful. But, God forbid, do not doubt their sense of humor!
7. Dirtbag.
The main lovers and distributors of rumors and gossip. The rinsers and washers of other people's "dirty laundry". The news necromancers who raise the skeletons in the closets. The media flies in the celebrity environment. The messengers of the "yellow" press. They can give raccoons a run for their money in terms of rinsing laundry.
Rumors, gossip, scandals, intrigues, and revelations is their food, content, and earnings. Their unspoken motto is "not a day goes by without dirt". In order to draw public attention to the "dirty laundry" of another media "celebrity" or "aspiring star" they are willing to go to great lengths and endure serious hardships, including the hardship of depriving themselves of time for socially useful work.
As a rule, when examining and sniffing at other people's public lives from all angles, they can't help but embellish and lie, and in this area, they can even surpass even the "Liars". The anticipation of another public scandal drives them into a sweet frenzy, and the smell of unwashed laundry or stains has long become more delicate and sweeter than all the French perfumes combined.
For some, even filth is a source of joy. Like flies, they buzz around the latest public scandals, meticulously discussing, analyzing, and commenting on each one, only to be drawn into a new scandal the very next day. For our part, we can recommend that our readers avoid taking the mud baths they offer. Purity of thought and deed is the key to true success in life!
8. Liar.
Pathological liars and deceivers of all kinds, who take advantage of public influence and gullibility. Today, they are great experts in all kinds of sciences, tomorrow they are masters of geostrategy and military affairs, and the day after tomorrow they are pro-government political scientists and indoctrinators. This is the ideal scenario. In practice, the career of this category of bloggers usually begins in local media outlets as a proofreader or similar position.
The willingness to write not as their heart tells them, but as their boss instructs, is a fundamental skill that they develop from the very beginning of their professional career. After all, who really needs their genuine opinions or the truth? In their environment, it is believed that "if you don't lie, you won't sell" (an article, a newspaper, your honor, your conscience, or your soul). This genuine understanding of the nature of their experiences often comes to them during their college years.
Those who manage to climb the career ladder often become either hired writers and paper pushers for foreign commercial and not-so-commercial organizations of public influence, or fierce defenders of the current authorities, ready to engage in daily indoctrination of the population on any socially significant and sensitive issues. While we cannot judge which of these career paths is more socially dangerous, we can say with certainty that objective reality eventually breaks down any barriers and walls of lies created by the "Liars".
"It's not easy to deceive me, but I'm happy to deceive everyone!" Perhaps this is the motto they could follow in their lives. However, even they cannot cheat death.
9. Trashman.
It's just some kind of trash instead of bloggers! Those are the creators of all kinds of "junk" content, including the notorious "neuroslop". To shit, to laugh and to arrange idiotic "challenges" — that's their life credo. And it should be noted that they do this online with great pleasure, attracting the attention of the same fools with their "eccentricity", although logically they should attract the attention of orderlies. This eccentricity finds its expression exclusively in the form of absolutely idiotic and dangerous actions for their own lives and the lives of others, publicly committed by them on camera to the laughter of their comrades-in-arms.
They have no highly developed intellectual abilities, otherwise they would not even undertake such an activity. The level of cultural development is stagnating around zero. But there is plenty of stupidity, pathos and a desire to stand out from the gray mass, of which they are typical representatives. Previously, these urban lunatics were almost unnoticed in society, but with the advent of the Internet, they came out of their rat holes into the divine light of the network. It should be noted that the so-called "quadrobers", which have gained informational popularity recently, are among the typical representatives of the subspecies of these creatures, and, undoubtedly, they are still extremely adequate in comparison with others.
Evil tongues say that they make the Internet dumb. We don't know if this is really the case, but their social danger really shouldn't be underestimated. We will not bore our readers with a list of all the kinds of stupidity that they are capable of committing and which we have unwittingly witnessed — as they say, the Internet is for the rescue. And may the Lord have mercy on thy eyes!
10. Starman.
The apogee of the development of blogger pride and pathos. However, these "stars" consider themselves honored figures of the blogosphere, worthy of worship and reverence. "Millionaire bloggers" is a typical example. The "stars" of pop music who decided to "come out to the people" are another one. Honored priestesses of the bed, desperately trying to cover up their dirty past through the blogosphere, are the third. But no matter what "stars" all of the above personalities may be, an unsurpassed sense of self-greatness unites them all, blurring the moral boundaries between their past and present.
Imagining themselves to be great influencers, gurus, and sometimes almost messiahs, leading the masses of the people into the bright (for false messiahs) future, they attract young and inexperienced minds and hearts, in order to one day smash them to the bottom of their own incredible stupidity. But to become a true social "star" is not about tossing bags, and sooner or later everything inevitably falls into place, including their own reputation among the people.
For us, the almost Shakespearean question of "to star or not to star" is almost definitively resolved. And now, ending this classification on this stellar note, we involuntarily ask ourselves reproachfully: "Aren't we stargazing, comrades?"