Song of a monk

I am just a silent monk
And have no a silver tongue,
Though I’ll try to sing a song
Of how deeply I have sunk.

Will I ever find the words
To describe my feelings hordes?
Will thy know how long I’ve prayed
To restore the faith betrayed?

But I’m willing to describe
How the bonds of love are tight,
Though it’s like a bitter wine,
All in all – the song is mine.

It was month ago, no less,
I was making strong progress
On the way to saturation
Of my soul in starvation.

Praying hard in starless nights,
Hardening my spirit’s sights,
Strengthening my own rights
With all defect’s endless fights.

Those were days of saturation
Of the soul in starvation,
But so little has been done
To become enlightened one.

And one day all this has crashed,
Own faith myself I’ve smashed,
Brought to kneels of own soul,
Failed to achieve my goal.

Woman entered my hut –
Somehow she was not heard,
Almost naked, head to torso,
Crying and afraid was also.

When she noticed me at home,
All her fears have just gone,
And she moved to me at once
With her flashing, stunning glance.

Asking me to help her hide,
Doing once the thing that’s right…
Stunned, shocked I have stayed
And my faith I have betrayed.

Asked me if she could sit,
And my candle she has lit,
Then she told me how she ran
Through the forest by the sun.

Hoping to escape the life
That have cut her like a knife,
Telling me of former lover
And her prison in the tower.

She was married for a knight –
Cruel one, whose bonds were tight,
Who have tossed her every night
On the beds to start his .. fight.

Who had no the need for feeling,
Who loved not and hurt her being,
Who was madman of some sort…
Crying she was as she told.

And to help her come to life
In the sin I had to dive –
I embraced her that one day,
Even I saw not the way…

And she stayed within my home
To heal wounds and to reborn.
To protect her I have sworn –
Till I’m dead … or she is gone.

She was one of great beauty,
She was very, very sweety.
We have spent a lot of days
Walking in the sunny rays.

Thus she entered my heart,
I was to refuse her, but…
Was it heart or was it gut
That have broken me apart?

We have used to know each other –
Feeling same to say it rather,
These were the days of sun –
We both stopped from the run.

Should I tell you what came next,
Will you ever read that text?
You may not, and I don’t care –
Truly love is just so rare…

I have failed to become
Lightened one in days to come,
I have failed to achieve
Goals of mine … but feel no grief.

All I feel now is the love…
It was truly way that’s tough.
I don’t know what will come next –
Though I’ve finished my text.